From Hopelessness to Wholeness

From Hopelessness to Wholeness

One of the easiest things to say rather than do, is to have hope. When you are feeling the futility of life, there is nothing easy about having hope.

Whenever we face life with any degree of pain or suffering, there is normally a degree of resistance in play. When we resist futility as though it's the enemy, that's when we feel the pain of hopelessness.

So the answer is - don't resist futility.

Face it. Turn toward it. Surrender to it. And accept it.

This does not mean we become it. Neither does it mean to identify with it. Rather, we welcome it like a friend and we stop treating it like an enemy.

There are many ways to come into a new relationship with futility. I refer to my fav teacher Matt Kahn. He said to welcome pain like you would welcome your airbnb guests - you ask them how you could help them have a great time - you don't ignore them or wish they were someone else. You give them the best treatment ever.

"I welcome you Futility. How can I serve you today?"

That's how you fully accept futility into your life so it is no longer the enemy. So you are no longer in resistance to it. I know first hand how painful this process is. To feel the full acceptance of your pain is painful.

But then notice what happens.

When you stop resisting what is real in your life, you stop abandoning yourself - you stop saying to yourself that you are bad for feeling hopeless and you need to feel better, or you need to feel hope, or you need to get out of this mood. All that is doing is making that part of you wrong for feeling hopeless.

When we welcome all parts of our being, including this part of us that is Futility, we are no longer abandoning ourselves. This is a huge part of the healing and empowerment journey.

When we are no longer in resistance, there is a softening that happens even when we are feeling the very thing we are trying so hard to avoid.

In that softening, in that acceptance, we step into wholeness. In that wholeness, you also access the depth of full unconditional love.

All is well in your wholeness.

Tips to Accept Pain (as a welcomed visitor in your home)

Tip Number One

Do not resist it. Feel the misery. Allow sound, tears and gestures to help you express it. During this period of feeling the fullness of my pain, I cried 10 buckets of tears and wailed and sobbed so hard. And slept. And when I woke up, I cried another 10 buckets. And then I picked up my paint brush and began to paint.

Tip Number Two

Befriend not knowing. If you feel called, please repeat this mantra “I accept that I know nothing. And that it is my divine right to know nothing. And all things that I need for my life to be abundant, successful and full of love, will come to me without me needing to know how, when or what. I know nothing. I trust in not knowing.”

Tip Number Three

If you feel called, please repeat this mantra. “I am a child at heart. I play joyfully, creatively, without limit. I am a child at heart.”

Staying Centered

• Make it a point to cook a good, nutritious meal, with love and joy – even if you have to fake it – every day. Treat your body with care and love. Maybe even stop drinking alcohol.

• Soak in the sun every day where possible. Hand on your heart, thank the sun and feel the rays merge with you.

• Quit reading/listening to the news – even the alternative stuff. Drop into the silence and find your heart’s news. Your heart has a lot to say if you would ask it. Let your heart keep you distracted for now.